Heat.

I woke up at a quarter to twelve.
I padded into the kitchen,
Made coffee just the way I always do,
Cream, sugar, steaming, strong.
I hummed some song
I'd heard on the radio
Driving the 10
When I was 20.
These floors are cold.
Into the bathroom now,
Turn the water on
Scalding
And
Then I think about you.
I don't know if you even exist
In reality
But there you are, in my mind's eye
Watching me from the mirror.
Laughing at the mess of hair piled
Haphazardly on my head,
Smirking
While I burn the roof of my mouth
On scalding coffee,
Rolling your eyes as I curse like
The gypsy woman
I was never raised to be.
I test the water with my fingertips,
Wipe down the mirror
And breathe in the steam.
I don't know if you exist
Outside of my mind,
But the belief that you're out there,
Maybe thinking about a woman,
With hair piled atop her head,
Who wakes up at a quarter to noon,
Burns her mouth on coffee
And swears like sailors she never met,
The belief that you might just exist
Keeps me alive.
People in my life,
They think I'm the girl who needs to be protected
From the world,
From my own poor judgement calls.
I was raised in an ivory tower
Sheltered from the big bad,
It's no wonder,
When I climbed down,
I lost my virginity to danger,
Ran with wolves and
Breathed chaos.
My blood boils
With passion.
My heart doesn't beat
It fires bullets of primal heat
That scream through my veins.
I have never been more alive
Because I believe in something out there
That is mine.
I don't know if you exist outside of my thoughts,
And if you do I don't know
Where you are,
Who you are.
But I know
Your heart doesn't beat.
It burns.