Named.

Ask me
You whispered,
Your quiet voice a throaty mix of
Cigarettes and lust.
Ask me.
I was riding high on the
Chemicals of climax,
The fact that I'd told you only moments before
I'd never call you that name.
Never once did I ever think
The word would escape my lips.
But it did.
It slid across the tip of my tongue,
Teeth tried to lock it away
But it slid out from in between my lips,
Easy,
Easy like four hour conversations,
Easy like the first kiss
Easy, like bumping into someone at a bar.
What is difficult,
Is finding where you belong.
See, I've always categorized people into
Neat little compartments in my head.
You don't fit in neat little compartments,
That much I knew the second I saw you.
And now,
Now you have a name.
I name I wouldn't have given to just anyone.
And I'm not sure if it's just because of the lust,
Or something else.
Maybe it's because there is something primal lurking in you.
And the animal in me
Sees the animal in you.
This isn't about bringing them out,
Because I'm not quite sure if that's where we end up going.
I don't know where we end up going.
I do know,
You asked me to name you.
And I did.
For now I'm happy wondering,
If and When the time comes
If I ask you to name me,
If the notes of your smokey, throaty voice
Will just as easily
Call me by name.

Heat.

I woke up at a quarter to twelve.
I padded into the kitchen,
Made coffee just the way I always do,
Cream, sugar, steaming, strong.
I hummed some song
I'd heard on the radio
Driving the 10
When I was 20.
These floors are cold.
Into the bathroom now,
Turn the water on
Scalding
And
Then I think about you.
I don't know if you even exist
In reality
But there you are, in my mind's eye
Watching me from the mirror.
Laughing at the mess of hair piled
Haphazardly on my head,
Smirking
While I burn the roof of my mouth
On scalding coffee,
Rolling your eyes as I curse like
The gypsy woman
I was never raised to be.
I test the water with my fingertips,
Wipe down the mirror
And breathe in the steam.
I don't know if you exist
Outside of my mind,
But the belief that you're out there,
Maybe thinking about a woman,
With hair piled atop her head,
Who wakes up at a quarter to noon,
Burns her mouth on coffee
And swears like sailors she never met,
The belief that you might just exist
Keeps me alive.
People in my life,
They think I'm the girl who needs to be protected
From the world,
From my own poor judgement calls.
I was raised in an ivory tower
Sheltered from the big bad,
It's no wonder,
When I climbed down,
I lost my virginity to danger,
Ran with wolves and
Breathed chaos.
My blood boils
With passion.
My heart doesn't beat
It fires bullets of primal heat
That scream through my veins.
I have never been more alive
Because I believe in something out there
That is mine.
I don't know if you exist outside of my thoughts,
And if you do I don't know
Where you are,
Who you are.
But I know
Your heart doesn't beat.
It burns.