Shelter.

"I never said it was a dealbreaker!"
As we drove home on the I-10,
I practically screamed the sentence at you,
The way my soul was screaming at you.
I couldn't muster many words.
I was trying to hold myself together
Even if
My eyes were leaking mascara  kissed tears
And my brain was reeling as if it had been slapped.
I was
Twisting on the inside,
A proverbial
Apocalypse of emotion.
One.
Boy meets girl.
Two.
Girl falls in love with boy.
Three.
Boy breaks girl's heart.
No!
history has a tendency of repeating itself
NO!
i must be having a nightmare.
NO!
pleasewakemeuppleasewakemeuppleasewakemeup...
NO!
I am the strong one.
I am the glue that sticks people back together,
I am the rock in the dam that keeps it from exploding...
Exploding.
My heart is exploding.
My body is tearing apart from the shrapnel
This is Hell.
This is War.
I'm shell shocked.
My heart is coming home
From the front lines
In a pine box,
I'm fleeing back into a foxhole
Where they say
No one is an atheist
So I'm praying
I am on my knees while gunfire grenades and mines are exploding,
I'm praying
To whatever deity is listening
"Please, please if you're listening, if there's anyone out there listening, forgive me for what I am about to do."
I knelt there in the dirt,
For what felt like forever after you left,
My ears were ringing with
I love yous,
And
The sound of the truck door slamming.
I let the tears drip off the tip of my nose,
And onto a small flower
and I realized,
In that moment,
That when we met a seed was planted.
And we nurtured it,
Protected it,
And grew
Us.
And I was not about to watch that blossom wilt and die.
I promised you,
That I would walk the road that led to your heart.
I never break a promise.
I stood,
The storm calmed,
And I carefully stepped out of my foxhole,
And into the minefield.