I remember playing hide and seek as a child,
With my father and my brother.
We'd play for hours, I was always finding good hiding places in the shed,
in the kitchen cabinets,
Behind the compost pile.
I remember hearing my father yelling
"Ready or not! Here I come"
The best part about hide and seek for me was the hiding.
We played hide and seek together,
in summers that lasted six weeks.
Then it was back home to school,
to mom,
to my stepdad.
Back to being the minature adult my parents always seemed to overlook.
I never forgot about hide and seek.
I've played so many versions of it.
Hiding in a locked bathroom,
praying that my lover at the time wouldn't find me.
Praying he couldn't catch me if I decided to run home.
The childhood memory of hide and seek took on new meaning
because instead of getting tagged on the way to home base,
I was getting punched and put in hospitals.
I've spent the better portion of my adult life playing hide and seek.
I've hidden behind my self defenses.
I've hidden behind metaphors,
behind men.
Behind women.
I've hidden from responsibility.
I've hidden in the hallways I've built inside my heart.
Ready or not Here I come!
became more of a threat,
than a happy childhood memory.
I've been hiding behind six week long summers,
clinging to the memory of listening to my heart pound in my ribcage,
the sound of my breathing.
The fear of being caught or even worse,
being it.
What I never realized was
that hiding
always meant I was alone.
Hiding
meant that I was in fear.
I don't want to be afraid anymore.
I want to scream at that broken hearted five year old miniature adult version of me..
YOU DON'T HAVE TO HIDE ANYMORE!
Come out and play with the rest of us!
Run!
Laugh!
Sing songs in languages that only you know,
Dance!
You don't have to hide anymore!
Years have passed since I was that little girl.
And I've waited.
I've waited, listening to my heart pound inside of my ribcage,
waited, listening to the sound of my breathing.
It's taken me all these years to finally realize
that the whole point to hide and seek
was to be found.
when I hear you yelling
"Ready Or Not, Here I come!"
I'll smile to myself,
and make a break for home base,
because I know now,
after years of hiding,
that there's nothing I'd rather be
than found.
With my father and my brother.
We'd play for hours, I was always finding good hiding places in the shed,
in the kitchen cabinets,
Behind the compost pile.
I remember hearing my father yelling
"Ready or not! Here I come"
The best part about hide and seek for me was the hiding.
We played hide and seek together,
in summers that lasted six weeks.
Then it was back home to school,
to mom,
to my stepdad.
Back to being the minature adult my parents always seemed to overlook.
I never forgot about hide and seek.
I've played so many versions of it.
Hiding in a locked bathroom,
praying that my lover at the time wouldn't find me.
Praying he couldn't catch me if I decided to run home.
The childhood memory of hide and seek took on new meaning
because instead of getting tagged on the way to home base,
I was getting punched and put in hospitals.
I've spent the better portion of my adult life playing hide and seek.
I've hidden behind my self defenses.
I've hidden behind metaphors,
behind men.
Behind women.
I've hidden from responsibility.
I've hidden in the hallways I've built inside my heart.
Ready or not Here I come!
became more of a threat,
than a happy childhood memory.
I've been hiding behind six week long summers,
clinging to the memory of listening to my heart pound in my ribcage,
the sound of my breathing.
The fear of being caught or even worse,
being it.
What I never realized was
that hiding
always meant I was alone.
Hiding
meant that I was in fear.
I don't want to be afraid anymore.
I want to scream at that broken hearted five year old miniature adult version of me..
YOU DON'T HAVE TO HIDE ANYMORE!
Come out and play with the rest of us!
Run!
Laugh!
Sing songs in languages that only you know,
Dance!
You don't have to hide anymore!
Years have passed since I was that little girl.
And I've waited.
I've waited, listening to my heart pound inside of my ribcage,
waited, listening to the sound of my breathing.
It's taken me all these years to finally realize
that the whole point to hide and seek
was to be found.
when I hear you yelling
"Ready Or Not, Here I come!"
I'll smile to myself,
and make a break for home base,
because I know now,
after years of hiding,
that there's nothing I'd rather be
than found.
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