Brothers

I remember when we used to play hide and seek together as children,
Running and laughing with the wind.
We were small, and I helped you find good hiding places.
But your laughter would give you away.
I never doubted that you'd be that fun until you grew old,
And then,
I figured,
You'd yell at kids to get off your lawn as an old man inside joke.
I watched you grow up,
Just like you watched me grow up
And
I never doubted when you fell,
You'd pick yourself back up off the ground
And dust off your own skinned knees.
I remember
Climbing into bed with you when we were little,
because even though you were younger than I was,
You somehow always chased away my scary dreams.
I remember you always wanted to share things.
Even if it was your last piece of bubble gum.
You stuck up for me a lot.
Even when you knew that maybe I wasn't being quite so honest about who was responsible for the empty brownie pan.
You never had a shortage of hugs,
And you stood your ground even when we fought amongst ourselves.
These are the things that I know you will pass on to your son.
Your strength,
Your laughter,
Your honor,
Your love,
Your guts
And your glory.
You'll share your last piece of bubblegum with him,
And play hide and seek, always helping him to find the best hiding places
You'll dust off his skinned knees and
Scare away his bad dreams.
I know, because I have watched you do all of these things and more.
You're the best little brother in the whole world,
And it's only fitting
That you'd become the best dad in the whole world.
I love you, bro.
Congratulations.

Foundations.

You
Lit up the night sky with your
Bazillion watt smile
And painted the air
Purple and blue with fingertips
Outstretched from your palm
In the universal sign of
Hello.
I walked on.
A woman on a divine holy mission to forget
What went wrong
Why was it raining in the house
That my heart built?
Why couldn't I see the sky through the holes in the roof?
You appeared there,
Standing outside on my soul porch,
A few days later.
You were broken,
Asking for solstice and shelter
From the storm and
I knew then,
Because you painted sunsets in thin air
And shone more brilliantly than
The full moon that I
Could fix you.
I could offer you shelter
From the thunder bursting through your hollow ribcage.
You were raw and screaming on the inside
So I took a piece of plaster
From the walls of my heart
and hand fed it to you.
And then I watched you die.
As your body convulsed
And
You cried out to a faceless god
I held you,
Watched tears stream down your face
In a death rattle
That echoed in my brain until I heard nothing else.
I stripped you naked,
Washed your empty body
As the house that my heart built
Crumbled.
I watched the sun come up
As I laid you on a broken mattress
And sang you lullabies.
I fell asleep next to you
Wishing it were as easy for me
As it was for you.
I awoke to your fingers in my hair,
and your lips on mine,
Your smile dazzling as the desert summer sun.
I knew then,
We would rebuild the house,
But it would be the house our hearts built.
Together.